Our Filipino culture sometimes prevents us from enjoying the dating process. Marami tayong practices and ideas that restrict us from enjoying the experience and hindi rin helpful in achieving our goal of getting married.

Example, sisters decline an invitation to go on a date dahil hindi nila gusto yung brother. Maybe they’re doing it for the brother’s benefit. Para hindi mag-expect at hindi magbigay ng false hope. Well, it’s nice to be considerate of their feelings pero dapat din tandaan that an invitation to go on a date is not a marriage proposal. Hindi kailangan na romantically attracted ka sa kanya to have fun together. Besides, dating is a great way to make friends and it will help us figure out kung ano yung gusto natin in a partner. Ang rule dapat is kindness. It takes a lot of courage for a guy to ask a girl out. The least you can do is to give him that opportunity and enjoy the company. And kung after ng date hindi mo talaga siya gusto, be honest and tell the brother na it’s better off for you to be friends.

Another misconception is that when a brother asks a sister on a date, hindi na siya dapat lumabas with other girls. Bakit hindi pwede? Eh hindi pa naman sila BF/GF. Unless merong agreement to date exclusively. Remember, dating is the process of finding. Paano makaka-hanap kung hindi mag-date ng marami? We need to erase the idea na kapag madalas lumabas si brother with iba’t-ibang sisters on a date babaero na agad. Ang turo ni Jesus Christ sa atin is not to judge. This is very applicable sa dating.

Kailangan din i-adjust ang idea of the “dalagang Filipina.” It’s true na ang mga brethren ang dapat mag-initiate sa  pag-invite to go out on dates. Pero sisters, it’s okay to put yourself out there. Paano ka mapapansin kung hindi ka lang naman nag-eeffort kahit konti? There are simple ways to do that without compromising our pagiging dalagang Filipina. You can smile more. Pabango konti para mapansin. Go to activities. Talk to new people. Let your light so shine para ma-notice ka. And there are times na it’s okay to ask a brother out by inviting him to an activity or a gathering with friends. Hindi naman ikaw yung manliligaw, you are just providing an opportunity.

pre-nup picture chinaman's hat filipino couple

Our Filipino dating culture has an influence on us, but it should not limit our opportunity to date. Our leaders teach that we need to practice the gospel culture. This means na may mga changes na kailangan nating gawin to have a successful dating experience. Sabi nga ni Elder Hales, “dating and marriage aren’t final destinations. They are the gateway to where you ultimately want to go.”