Our Filipino culture sometimes prevents us from enjoying the dating process. Marami tayong practices and ideas that restrict us from enjoying the experience and hindi rin helpful in achieving our goal of getting married.
Example, sisters decline an invitation to go on a date dahil hindi nila gusto yung brother. Maybe they’re doing it for the brother’s benefit. Para hindi mag-expect at hindi magbigay ng false hope. Well, it’s nice to be considerate of their feelings pero dapat din tandaan that an invitation to go on a date is not a marriage proposal. Hindi kailangan na romantically attracted ka sa kanya to have fun together. Besides, dating is a great way to make friends and it will help us figure out kung ano yung gusto natin in a partner. Ang rule dapat is kindness. It takes a lot of courage for a guy to ask a girl out. The least you can do is to give him that opportunity and enjoy the company. And kung after ng date hindi mo talaga siya gusto, be honest and tell the brother na it’s better off for you to be friends.
Another misconception is that when a brother asks a sister on a date, hindi na siya dapat lumabas with other girls. Bakit hindi pwede? Eh hindi pa naman sila BF/GF. Unless merong agreement to date exclusively. Remember, dating is the process of finding. Paano makaka-hanap kung hindi mag-date ng marami? We need to erase the idea na kapag madalas lumabas si brother with iba’t-ibang sisters on a date babaero na agad. Ang turo ni Jesus Christ sa atin is not to judge. This is very applicable sa dating.
Kailangan din i-adjust ang idea of the “dalagang Filipina.” It’s true na ang mga brethren ang dapat mag-initiate sa pag-invite to go out on dates. Pero sisters, it’s okay to put yourself out there. Paano ka mapapansin kung hindi ka lang naman nag-eeffort kahit konti? There are simple ways to do that without compromising our pagiging dalagang Filipina. You can smile more. Pabango konti para mapansin. Go to activities. Talk to new people. Let your light so shine para ma-notice ka. And there are times na it’s okay to ask a brother out by inviting him to an activity or a gathering with friends. Hindi naman ikaw yung manliligaw, you are just providing an opportunity.
Our Filipino dating culture has an influence on us, but it should not limit our opportunity to date. Our leaders teach that we need to practice the gospel culture. This means na may mga changes na kailangan nating gawin to have a successful dating experience. Sabi nga ni Elder Hales, “dating and marriage aren’t final destinations. They are the gateway to where you ultimately want to go.”
Well said ate Kar! Thanks sa feature! Nakaextra kami kahit konti. Haha
You are welcome. 🙂 Thanks for letting us use your pic.
i super agree. Please consider this quote from Elder Quentin L. Cook:
“The longer you remain single after an appropriate age and maturity the more comfortable you can become. But the more uncomfortable you ought to BECOME. Please get “anxiously engaged” in spiritual and social activities compatible with your goal of Temple Marriage.”
I love that quote. Thanks for sharing. Let’s hope other YSAs get “uncomfortable” and start dating.
I really like this article. Ya it is right that the sisters need to put efforts too, to find the right one.
It is advisable that we can go on a date with different people until we find the right one for us
“Go on a date” is different on the word “I’m dating with…”
Im a little bit scared to go on a date because I’m a little confused on the role of cultures or tradition, thanks for this i have gain knowledge and something I have felt after reading this was I need to take heed to the counsel of the Prophets and apply the high standard that I have learned when I was youth ” the strength for the youth” .
I hope you won’t feel scared anymore. Dating should be a fun experience. 🙂
nice article sis.. very well said 🙂
Thank you for this Article Sister!
This is more helpful sa mga brothers and sisters who are looking for Eternal Companion.
Tama nga naman, both dapat ang mag work out, iwasan na ang masyado mahiyain. 😉
“Be more Gospel culture than Filipino culture”