When I first got the assignment to write for Mormons.ph, I was extremely happy to have been given the opportunity to share my beliefs. There is nothing more joyful for me than to share the gospel I hold dear to my heart to everyone in my own little ways. Like Moses, speaking is not my forte but I’ve found ways to share my thoughts through other ways – writing.
I got the topic captioned above and thought, this is easy. Married at 22, I was one of those considered too young to tie the knot. May 12th, 2012 was when Emil and I got sealed for all time and eternity in the Laie Hawaii Temple. I barely graduated, Emil still had a year of school left, we got into a major accident few weeks before our wedding that left Emil limping for a few weeks and my right eye almost blind, had less than $500 to our names, only worked part time jobs and our parents got denied multiple times to attend our sealing. When you think about it, there are countless of reasons why we shouldn’t get married then. But why did we still persist when everything was conspiring against us? Aren’t those signs NOT to get married? Nope! Not for us. Let me tell you a few reasons why:
Family is essential to the Lord’s plan
The Bible and the Book of Mormon record stories about the importance of family in the sight of the Lord. Eve was made for Adam in the very first few moments of the latter’s life because “it is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). Nephi and his brothers went all the way back to Jerusalem from the wilderness to get Ishmael’s daughters to wife and have children (1 Nephi 7). Truly this examples emphasize how essential marriage is to the Lord.
Marriage unlocks your full potential
Almost four years into our marriage, Emil and I have learned so much not just about each other, but about the opposite sex in general. Of course, I am not the ultimate representation of womanhood nor him on manhood but we’ve seen how the abilities and differences of man and woman complement each other. There are things that guys can teach girls and vice versa. For me personally, there are practices that I grew up doing that is not very pleasing to other people and to the Lord that only my husband will tell me straight up that it is not okay. Yes we have friends, best friends and even parents that can tell us the habits which we can improve on but they rarely see us inside our homes where we are our true selves. Spouses can help us to further improve our nature and help each other to be more like our Savior.
Money, a degree, a house, a car etc. are not part of the marriage equation
“Hindi pa ako naka-graduate,” “(Insert low paying job) lang ako,” “Di pa namin afford magpakasal,” “Tutulong muna ako sa parents ko,” “Magme-med school muna ako,” “Magttravel muna ako” are just a few of the things we say to ourselves to get the idea of getting married out of our minds. Of course money is important, a degree is important, helping our parents is important. There is nothing spiritual about being impractical. In fact, the Church is one of the best proponents of being self-reliant these things should not be reasons for us to delay obeying a commandment given from the Lord.
I asked a friend how she decided that it was the right time to get married. She asked her bishop and he gave her three spiritual yardsticks to guide her decision: 1. Do you love him? 2. Is he temple worthy? 3. Are you attracted to him? These three questions do not involve any temporal aspects but instead, all of these questions lead to our relationship with our future spouse and our relationship with the Lord.
I asked another ate how she decided to get married when they didn’t have anything yet and she blissfully answered, “Ano pang iwo-work niyo together kung lahat e tapos na? Diba mas nakaka-enjoy when you work for something together?” To this I can attest. We’ve been through job rejections and promotions together, bought our first car together, traveled to multiple states, visited emergency rooms a couple of times, helped both of our families together and a lot more other things that I can’t even imagine doing by myself alone. Through these triumphs and trials, we’ve learned to not only trust in the Lord but to trust and rely on each other’s abilities.
Change is constant
We were engaged after 10 months of dating and I often get asked if that is too soon. Para sa ating mga Pinoy, mas matagal, mas maganda kasi mas makikilala pa natin lalo ang isa’t isa. Or is it really mas maganda? Change is inevitable and it will always happen. There will be no right time na kilala mo na siya fully, whatever that means, because both of you will change. I am not the same person who married Emil almost four years ago and so is he because believe it or not, change is constant. There will always be something to learn about the other person. It is an unending process and isn’t it more joyful to be together as both of you learn new things about one another?
Despite all the events that happened prior, the day we decided that “this is it,” is one of the most peaceful days because I know that the Lord is very happy with our decision to enter the temple and to covenant with Him. Getting sealed to the man or woman of your dreams is not just all romance. The equation doesn’t just involve the two of you but it involves yourself, your future spouse and the Lord. Of course, knowing the Lord is on your side when you make right decisions help a lot but most of the time, the task at hand is not easy but however hard it may seem, the Lord will prepare a way for us to accomplish the thing which He commands us to do (1 Nephi 3:7). When you’ve prayed about it and you received a clear answer from the Lord that this really is it, don’t delay it.
“Don’t postpone a prompting; rather, act on it, and the Lord will open the way.”
-President Thomas S. Monson
You might also be interested in these articles about marriage:
- My Marriage Decision as a Mormon in the Philippines
- 6 Tips for Newlyweds on Surviving the First Year of Marriage
- 5 Things I Wish I Knew Before Getting Married
Would you like to learn more about what Mormons, or members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, believe? Contact us!
yes that’s quistion in our maind and most of our ldsmember’s in the church say we are young age we have to help frist in our parents propesion and work to help them . for me merried is the best important in to our life .
thats why my daughter she is 23 years old ask me Dad can we talk with you? i said yes this year i got married i;m shouck coz she is young for that age but im thing my self for that reason , and i said after awail when she talk to me i said to them yes yes im ok for that good desation to got married in The Temple thats a good desation my daughter.
Ayos po yan brother! Ayaw naman nating maging hadlang sa mga mahal natin sa buhay lalo na kung ang gagawin nila ay ang sukunod sa utos ng Diyos. Salamat po sa pagbasa!
Been married for almost 4 years now. I also got married the same age as yours. 🙂 and I can say that I’m discovering more of myself at this stage than I ever did before. For me, marriage is learning to be just like Christ. You wake up in the morning, you need to DECIDE to forgive and LOVE AGAIN in order to be HAPPY and GROW together.
Yes! Definitely! May mga times na we (my husband and I) realize it really is ordained of God kasi mahahasa ka in all aspects of your personality. Hindi lang lovey dovey all the time. Thanks for reading!
I’v been married 14 years, before I finish my mission I prepare my self to the next level another stage of life to be marry in the House of the Lord…I have done being primary when I become young men, I’v done being young men when I become a Elder and serve as a full time missionary, after mission and encounter a different kind of behavior I say to my self yeah I’m ready to be marry… in a mission we train for next level or stage of our life…we have a companion all the time for 24 months or 18 months, we have a companion to over come the temptation or tactics of satan, satan is always around us he always guard us and he always studying what tactics he use to temp us…our companion is our buddy in life he always there to remind us what our doing or do is we become weak….so after mission and long years have not yet have a companion in our life make sure you are always strong but not all the time you are strong to your faith and be care full satan always there…so if have your companion thy have always reminder, always there for you…have your goal to be eternal whit your generation…that is differences of single and have companion.
Ira such a profound experience and testimony. Thanks for helping singles like me have courage to get married.
Just so love this article. =) precise and profound. Had been happily married for almost two years now to a loving man of God. Getting married inside the Temple was indeed one of the most perfect decisions I have ever made in my entire life. We were so sure about each other that David and I got engaged just after four months of dating. We then got married in the Manila Philippines Temple a month before we turned one year. Totoo na many trials, challenges, sorrow, afflictions, persecutions (name it!) ang darating whenever we choose to come unto Christ and follow His commandments. And we were not exempted. Marami kaming pinagdaanan before our marriage. But those challenges also made us a lot stronger and more independent. I so much testify sa sinabi ni Ira. That being married at the right place and at the right person regardless of your temporal capacity or situation would bring so much happiness and blessings in your life (some are even those that you’re not expecting would come) And absolutely yes, one of the many perks of being married at the young age? you got to see more of yourself, more of this world (up and down, happy and sad) together with the person you love the most. It might seem hard but remember, with God, nothing shall be impossible. =) Say hoorah! for those brave young hearts who faithfully abide in the commandments of our Lord.
4years na po kaming kasal ng asawa ko, 5months lang kami naging mag boyfriend/girlfriend after that nag pakasal kami agad. Kagaya po ng sinabi mo sister nag dasal kami sa temple, nag fasting at ang sagot samin ay oo 🙂 madami pong hadlang sa pagpapakasal namin dahil 19 palang ako noon eh nag balak na kami mag pakasal, mahina ang loob ko before na di ko pa nakilala ang husband ko, di ko ugaling mag pakilala sa parents ng boyfriend dahil takot ako sa kanila, pero first time ko ipakilala ang hubby ko at sinabi kong mag papakasal kami, hehehe. Pero di ko lubos maisip kung bakit ang lakas ng loob ko, at kahit ang mga member sa ward namin eh nagulat sakin, bata pa daw kasi ako. Pero that time ramdam na ramdam ko yung suporta ng Diyos sa amin, kaya talagang pinaglaban ko ang asawa ko. So 20 years old ako nun kinasal sa Manila Philippines Temple. 🙂 Napaka blessed ko dahil ramdam ko na mahal na mahal kami ni Heavenly Father at alam kong masaya siya sa desisyon namin ng asawa ko na mag pakasal na kahit 20 palang ako, at ang asawa ko ay 29. Sa ngayon, meron na kaming isang anak na babae, maraming pinag dadaanan sa buhay, pero nag papasalamat ako, at sobrang saya ko po dahil napaka buti ng asawa ko at anak ko, wala na ako hahanapin pa. 🙂 Kaya tama po na kung ano man ang sagot, gawin na agad wag nang ipag paliban pa,. At kung pakiramdam natin ay mahirap gawin ang pinapagawa satin ng Diyos, gawin parin po natin, dahil gagawa ang Diyos ng paraan para magawa natin ng maayos ang mga bagay na pinag uutos niya. 🙂
Hello po sister Vicky, nainspired po ako sa very strong na decision niyo na magpapakasal in an early age of 19 and got married in the age of 20. Kasi po, i have a boyfriend now who is also a returned missionary and we’re already a year na in a relationship. And we are really pushing our decision to get married next year. I’m still 18 right now, and my boyfriend is 24 and I’ll be turning 19 if possible our marriage will happen next year. Masaya po ako sa mga comments nyo sa article nato, it helps me alot to really hold on to my decision to be married in the temple next year to the man i love. Kaso po maraming trials and oppositions kasi my family still wanted me to pursue all their dreams for me. Gusto ko po sana malaman kung paano nyo po nalagpasan lahat o kayay napa approved yung parents mo na magpapakasal sa edad na 19 po kayo? I’ll be glad of your response sis. Thankyou 🙂
I finished my studies at 20, got hired at 21, got married at 22, got pregnant at 23 and gave birth at 24.
Now i’m enjoying my life with my Eternal companion Billy and My Daughter Eve Stella <3
I couldn't imagine life had I not marry at an early age!
The earlier the better. I married at 21 and my husband was 23. My husband realized that he should have married me earlier like 6 months after his mission ,since we have known each other since kids; cause there are lots of things to do especially if you are a pioneer in you faith within your family.
Finding the ideal person is good, but no matter how ideal that person is, still he/she is person with weaknesses. Marriage has many shocking discoveries like mga pag-utot niyong dalawa, and all those comfortable things that you do, you know what I am saying? That is why, the earlier the better.
A very efficient article. Hopes that it will enlighten others as well. (rock)
Maria, thank you for your comment.
I’d suggest to ask your sysadmin/developer to turn off PHP display_error setting.
Thank you so much for this feedback. We fixed the issue.
Hi im desirie from phils. I serve my mission in cebu east mission, and fiancé also serve in manila mission, where in relationship since 2013, and now were getting married this april 6,i was relate to your story because a lot of opposition to my parents side and to the other people, im only turning 22 this august.
A lot of struggles same with my fiance is not yet graduate in college.
But i do believe that their is faith after all of this.
This article is really inspiring. Young couple like you are, who already faced and overcame overwhelming challenges in your young and very early stage of marriage, is just admirable and truly inspiring.
Please let me say that I don’t have any objection with church members especially return missionaries deciding to get married early or in their young age. There really is nothing wrong about it, especially when you involved the inspiration of the Holy Spirit of the Lord in your decision. There are actually many advantages to going for it. Like having kids when you are still young, healthy and strong. And as you have mentioned, enjoying together the joy of accomplishing important things together.
Having said that, and please don’t get me wrong, I just thought if anyone decided to get married right after full-time mission, or early or at a young age like early 20’s, please remember that as you decide to follow the commandment of marriage, I hope you also decided to embrace and courageously face the responsibility that entails married life, which is solely yours after your wedding day!
I pray you also follow the commandment to be a responsible husband or wife and parents to your children. It says in “The Family
A Proclamation to the World”
The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
“The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.
Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.
By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.”
This entails that you will be responsible for nourishing for and providing for your children’s needs. You and your spouse – not your parents! which is a common occurrence in the Philippines. Which is not right, if we truly understand and want to follow this, not only a proclamation, but a commandment.
Making the Decision at the Appropriate Time
President Harold B. Lee
“I am not trying to urge you younger men to marry too early. I think therein is one of the hazards of today’s living. We don’t want a young man to think of marriage until he is able to take care of a family, to have an institution of his own, to be independent. He must make sure that he has found the girl of his choice, they have gone together long enough that they know each other, and that they know each other’s faults and they still love each other. I have said to the mission presidents (some of whom have been reported to us as saying to missionaries, ‘Now, if you are not married in six months, you are a failure as a missionary’), ‘Don’t you ever say that to one of your missionaries. Maybe in six months they will not have found a wife; and if they take you seriously, they may rush into a marriage that will be wrong for them.’
“Please don’t misunderstand what we are saying; but, brethren, think more seriously about the obligations of marriage for those who bear the holy priesthood at a time when marriage should be the expectation of every man who understands the responsibility; for remember, brethren, that only those who enter into the new and everlasting covenant of marriage in the temple for time and eternity, only those will have the exaltation in the celestial kingdom. That is what the Lord tells us” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1973, 120; or Ensign, Jan. 1974, 100 ).
President Spencer W. Kimball
“Couples do well to immediately find their own home, separate and apart from that of the in-laws on either side. The home may be very modest and unpretentious, but still it is an independent domicile. Your married life should become independent of her folks and his folks. You love them more than ever; you cherish their counsel; you appreciate their association; but you live your own lives, being governed by your decisions, by your own prayerful considerations after you have received the counsel from those who should give it. To cleave does not mean merely to occupy the same home; it means to adhere closely, to stick together:
“‘Wherefore, it is lawful that . . . they twain shall be one flesh, and all this that the earth might answer the end of its creation;
“‘And that it might be filled with the measure of man, according to his creation before the world was made.’ ( D&C 49:16–17 .)” ( “Oneness in Marriage,” Ensign, Mar. 1977, 5 ).
Lastly, please also consider this: Work for an Education
President Gordon B. Hinckley
Work for an education. Get all the training that you can. The world will largely pay you what it thinks you are worth. Paul did not mince words when he wrote to Timothy, “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel” ( 1 Timothy 5:8 ).
More often than not, those people who asked you “why too early?” are the most concerned people in your life, who do not intend to hinder or stop you from getting married early, but are just making sure you succeed with your decision, with your marriage, and your future family life.
It is my prayer that you take this comment as a loving reminder. As I have said, I don’t have any objection to early marriage, as so long as you also embrace the responsibility that comes with it.
only those who enter into the new and everlasting covenant of marriage in the temple for time and eternity, only those will have the exaltation in the celestial kingdom. …. how about those whose husbands have left them and there seems to be no more chance of getting married again?
I know how you feel. My husband left me. I feel that at 40 how will I ever find someone. I hate being alone. But I do know if we remain faithful it doesn’t matter what they did we can have someone in the life to come if we are faithful. But for me I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone. So I will look. I don’t blame the church for him leaving. I blame him cause he is not living righteous. If we are righteous we will not be alone.
at the of 21, I marry in the temple..this is my gial since I was in prumary.. that someday I will marry in the temple..I promised that “kung sino ang babalik at magpapakasal n return missionary ay di ko na patatagalin” in so happy that I meet my goal…im grateful that I marry in the temple..im blessed having our son..cute and so makulit…now my goal is to raise my son and my future children in the church..
I like the article that I used to read but I have a question..Is it normal to a return missionaries (elder/sisters)to live in one roof?
And get married after a few months…, Because I have known people like them and I ‘m wondering why? Is it allowwed?
Thanks for your answer..
I can really relate to this. I am so proud to both of you. I am also engaged and we’re now planning for the big day. Even if some of my friends who are non members discouraged me to marry at this young age, still I love my choice and regret nothing for choosing to be married to a worthy priesthood holder in the temple. Truly acting immediately upon the prompting of the Holy Ghost will give us more joy. I am more happy now than before! 🙂
4 days after I met my husband, he asked me to marry him. I couldn’t say I loved him at the time but I liked him. He’s a return missionary and worthy priesthood holder with a current temple recommend and well,he swept me away with his testimony of the gospel. When he popped the question,I was surprised. Didn’t answer right away. I had to go inside my room and pray. I came out of that room with tears in my eyes as I can’t deny that I did receive a confirmation that he is the one I have been praying for. People had different opinions about it when we made it public. Why wouldn’t they? I was a 29 year-old single mum to a 4 yr-old daughter and he was a 22 year old return missionary who just came for a holiday and got stranded by the typhoon. We got married 2 months after our engagement and are now on our 7th year of marriage. We’ve lasted longer than some people we know and we’re still getting stronger. We have 3 beautiful daughters. So I say,work on being worthy of the blessing and when you get a confirmation thru prayer and fasting,don’t procrastinate!