Many of us have pre-conceived notions about being in love. We see it portrayed in movies, books, and almost every media platform available. It is celebrated everywhere in the world. It is a powerful emotion that is often misunderstood by many because of myths that have evolved through the years.
In this article, we’ll explore some of the myths that may be affecting your views about falling in love.
We need to be attracted first before we can fall in love. Attraction is important in a relationship but opportunities for two people to fall in love are wasted when people believe attraction is the motivating force and reason to pursue someone. Of course, there are real stories of couples who felt attraction at first sight, but there are also successful relationships out there that did not start with instant attraction.
When you give someone a chance and get to know them, you might be surprised to find your feelings and desire grow with depth and meaning one step at a time. This attraction is not short and shallow nor is it fleeting and empty because the attraction is not based only on physical attributes, but is built upon kindness, understanding, and acceptance.
Take it slow. Time is on your side. Some say that you really have to take it slow so you get to know each other, learn each other’s quirks, go through challenges and experience different things together. For some, dating for a long time means that they are really sure of each other once they decide to take the relationship to the next level.
While there is truth to this, we must not delay commitment or marriage too long, because we want to conform to this norm. Years of dating the same person are not necessary, although we should spend enough time that we feel like we really know them. When we feel that we have found the person we want to spend eternity with, prayed about it and received confirmation from the Lord, we must choose and act according to our righteous desires. This can take a different amount of time for each couple, but there is no set timeline in dating and marriage.
Deep love comes naturally when you find the right person. We sometimes hear people saying that they loved one person the moment they set their eyes on them. While this is true in some instances—like parents seeing their newborn for the first time—in most cases, love is not something that we feel instantly. Love results from our choices, actions, and behaviors in our relationships. It is built upon service, investing in another person’s happiness, accepting flaws, and embracing differences. It also must be continuously nurtured.
God has prepared the right person for me already. If there’s one right person for each of us, then our free agency is in jeopardy. Marriage is one of the most important milestones in our mortal journey and we can be sure that God will not interfere when we make the choice of who to marry.
Although we recognize that there is divine intervention in many aspects of our lives, including guidance in finding a person to marry, it is ultimately our choice, our worthiness, and our actions that determine the person who becomes our eternal partner.
God is surely preparing each of His children who are willing to be guided, to meet a potential future companion with whom they can build a family. However, there is no “one right person,” only right choices that we can make to find a person that God has helped prepare for one of His faithful children.
When you love, you accept and embrace everything. This is partly true, but there is another side to the coin as well. While love is about accepting and embracing someone fully and unconditionally, love is also about recognizing the improvements we need to make to have healthier and longer-lasting relationships. We don’t need to change who we are or lose ourselves in the process, but we need to put the necessary effort into becoming a better version of ourselves not only for us, but for the family we are trying build.
Love and acceptance should not come at the cost of common sense, however. While we all have character flaws, mistakes, and temptations specific to us, we should still be wise in choosing our eternal companion. Are they willing to work to improve with you and build the kind of eternal family you both want? Do you share the same goals in life? Love alone should not make us ignore red flags that might arise in a relationship that could signal serious trouble in the future. That being said, the power of repentance is real, and love goes hand in hand with forgiveness. You can each be a hand for the other to hold, to support, encourage, and help each other on your journey back to Father in Heaven.
Love comes in different types and forms. When we feel it, let’s not restrain ourselves because of myths that we grew up hearing from the media and other people. When it comes, let’s embrace it and let it grow, not only in our hearts but also in our choices and actions.