When you grow up a Disney-loving kid, sometimes, your ideas about marriage can be colorful and picturesque. I do admit that when I got married at 22, I still held on to some of those marriage ideals. When we started our life as husband and wife, we were welcomed with truths that were far from how I imagined things would be. Here are 5 things I wish I knew before getting married.
My Partner Isn’t Perfect And Neither Am I
Before getting married, one may have the idea that his or her chosen partner can do no wrong. I married the most wonderful man and I can truly say I married beyond myself. However, life isn’t roses and sweets all the time. He and I both have moments of weakness. Both of us bring a set of imperfections to the marriage table. When it finally dawned on me that both of us had a lot of polishing to do, it helped us a lot. Before getting married, understand that you and your partner are two imperfect beings who will slowly improve through your marriage.
Some Things Don’t Go As Planned
After our wedding, we planned so many things and set great goals. We were excited to start our life the way we had planned it. Our first year, we dreamed of investing money, having our first child, and both getting great paying jobs. However, the Lord had a different plan for our starting months. We got scammed, I miscarried, and our hard-earned savings were all spent on my operation. The Lord has an interesting way of reminding His children to trust in His plan.
There Will Be Moments When You Wonder
Ever since I was young, I paid keen attention to details. I wanted things to go the way I’d envisioned. The first year of marriage was a happy one for us. We were provided for abundantly. However, there were still difficult times for us, times that saw me kneeling and asking God why we were experiencing such challenges. I’ll admit that there were times that I thought being obedient to His commandment of marriage would spare us from trials. I was so wrong. But in hindsight, I am grateful for those challenging moments. Even now, they continue to increase our faith in the Lord and our compassion towards others.
The Lord Provides
I wish that I had more fully developed faith that the Lord would provide for us. When we started our marriage, it was challenging, and I did succumb to complaining once or twice. It was so easy to be faithless since it was our first time experiencing those kinds of trials. As my husband and I grew in our marriage, we saw the Lord’s hand. He is in the details. He knows our needs and He provides for us. We couldn’t count the number of times that we were astonished by His blessings.
Develop A Sense Of Humor Before Getting Married
In marriage, a sense of humor is really, really important. I saw this in my parents, especially in my mom, but I didn’t know how essential it was until I was a new wife. There were some things neither of us could change: the rice got burned, a task was forgotten, the baby got sick. Yes, these were stressful times but burdens can be lessened with even just a little sense of humor. We learned how to laugh and see the bright side of every situation.
We are doing so much better now and we have learned so much since the beginning of our married life. If anyone ever came to me and asked what they needed to know before getting married, I am grateful that there are moments I could look back on to share these 5 things that have helped and continue to help us even now.