Despite everything that life has to offer, it seems that at the end of the day, a girl’s ultimate dream always includes finding Mr. Right – someone who would bring her very own Disney fairytale or other romantic stories. However, the next question always seems to be “From all the guys out there, how do I know if he’s Mr. Right?”
Knowing my then-suitor, who is now my husband, was not an easy process but every decision that lead to finding Mr. Right was worth it. Here are five personal guidelines I applied in finding Mr. Right.
1. Develop Your Personal Qualities First
Doctrine and Covenants 88:40, one of the scriptures that directs the Mormon Church, says “For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light…” Finding Mr. Right is at par in importance with finding Ms. Right in you. The Lord will aid you in finding the right person to match the qualities you have nurtured in you to bring a harmonious relationship in the future.
2. Determine Mr. Right’s Characteristics
My diary entries when I was 15 years old make me laugh hard on how I perceived my Mr. Right. My youth listed down physical descriptions of my right kind of man more than anything else. Few of these descriptions were a man with glasses, loves wearing a watch, tall, and with cute Eastern Asian eyes. As time passed, finding Mr. Right brought me to the disposition that inner qualities are more important than physical qualities. I started rewriting the qualities I listed from before on a long-term perspective – Mr. Right being my potential husband. Setting my standard on this righteous perspective has allowed me to date men who are amazing beyond words. They may not have been ‘the one’ for me, but they made me realize the qualities I want in a man which led to finding Mr. Right.
A disclaimer, however, should also be included in our list of qualities. Mr. Right is not Mr. Perfect. Perfection is a lifelong goal. This is an effort together in a marriage. Focus on the important qualities and from there, together, strengthen weaknesses. Remember, “None of us marry perfection, we marry potential” by Robert D. Hales.
3. Study the Examples of Great Men
Whenever I read the biographies of leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I always cruise to knowing their admirable experiences of youth and love. Their stories on courtships of their then young loves, who eventually became their future wives, would always make me giddy and excited for my turn. Studying the examples of these great men in your life can personify the standards you set for your own Mr. Right. The qualities of these ‘great men’ can also be from your father, your friend’s father, your uncle, or a remarkable man in the community. I am blessed to have my father and grandfather who were (and still are) my inspirations in finding Mr. Right. These men did not settle for anything less in their relationships. They work hard and fight hard in giving the best for their families and their marriages.
4. Go out and Date
Finding Mr. Right is an action. It is not just a list on your diary or a dream waiting to be erased from the priorities of reality. Finding Mr. Right is a hard earned reward from the challenges of multiple broken expectations. Many, if not all, can testify that it is not an easy effort. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, one of the current Mormon apostles, said, in an advice on reaching our goals, “Patience was far more than simply waiting for something to happen—patience required actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results didn’t appear instantly or without effort.” Finding Mr. Right begins with your effort to date and meeting men with potentials. Be their friends. If they asked you on a date, give them a chance. It might be surprising to you but going on dates help you know yourself and your standards more.
5. Pray: Heavenly Father Knows WHO
I developed great confidence in the Lord and His plans for me since I was young. He knows me and the best person for me to be with. I am His daughter and I know He will not lead me to broken if I will listen to Him throughout this process. In finding Mr. Right, I made it a habit to include the men I dated in my prayer to Him. He knew the desire of each man who asked me out. He knew their plans for me and our future.
My happiness right now comes from that time when I offered my whole heart in asking him about my future with my then fiancé. Because of continuous prayer, I confidently knew that time, when my husband Jared proposed to me that he was the right person for me.
Elder Richard G. Scott, another modern leader of the Mormon Church, advised young single adults on finding Mr. Right. He used many of his life’s experiences with his wife, late Jeanene Watkins, to give direction to young adults’ decisions. He said:
[Be] someone who is developing the essential attributes that bring happiness: a deep love of the Lord and of His commandments, a determination to live them, one that is kindly understanding, forgiving of others, and willing to give of self, with the desire to have a family crowned with beautiful children and a commitment to teach them the principles of truth in the home.
Choosing who to marry is one of the most important decisions in life. Making a choice involves spiritual, emotional, and mental maturity and preparedness. Elder Bruce R. McConkie, a previous apostle of God, offered this advice: “We make our own choices, and then we present the matter to the Lord and get his approving, ratifying seal.” We have to have our own plans first before we expect the Lord’s enlightenment. The Lord wants us to exercise our agency to choose for us to experience the fruits of our choices and the joy from righteous decisions.